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Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Basel She's A Comin'

The 2012 Art Miami Tent for Art Basel
Construction of an Art Miami Tent
We are exactly one month away from Art Basel 2012.  Art Basel is Miami's golden child. It attracts nearly 70,000 people annually and some might argue that in the past 10 years, it has single handedly legitimized Miami's art scene. On that note, we are going to kick off our Art Basel 2012 coverage with an unconventional newbie's guide to all things Basel -

1. Everything and anything is art. In fact, YOU might be art so don't fall down. If you break it you buy it.

2. You will see several gallery gals sitting at tiny tables wearing disturbingly thick rimmed glasses, typing furiously on their glossy MacBooks. They will never make eye contact with you, to the point of discomfort, in the way only too much eye contact would cause discomfort. They are probably playing Snood and pretending to be archiving their gallery's vast and important collection. If they do happen to look up, it's not to sell you a $30, 000 white canvas with a blue dot, but more likely to make fun of your un-ironic lack of style...  if that happens you may want to go home and change.

3. Many hipsters will tell you that Art Basel itself is no longer cool.  This is likely due to the fact that a day pass is $42.00 and simply fails to fit into their budgets. After all, stand-up paddle board instructors make little money.  To them, it's all about the pop-up party's and free satellite events. We assure you, however, that all aspects of Basel weekend are very cool.  

4. Stay alert and look around you, especially if you are in a sketchy neighborhood at night, but not for the reasons you think.  You may spot some seriously cool street art happening.  If you see someone in a hoodie pasting broken G.I. Joe toys to a wall, who knows, it may be the likes of Banksy... you should only be so lucky!

5. Oh New Yorkers, I hate to hate on them... oh well.  Miami will be swamped with some of the trendiest specimens from the Big Apple. You will surely overhear them competing with each other over who has been to Basel more often, who has actually bought an art piece at Basel, which hot new restaurant manager knows their shrink and got them a table, or how the pool parties at the Shore Club and Delano are so fabulous.  While we love New Yorkers and all they do to support Basel, they are NOT the authorities on all things Basel... You Are!
The Scope Art Show tent
The 100,000 sq ft Scope Art Show Tent
graffiti behind the art miami tent
The hilarious musings of a graffiti artist located behind one of the Art Miami Tents

1 comment:

  1. this may be the most profound and in depth coverage of ART BASEL I have ever read
    I just learned how to read!

    ReplyDelete